okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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