have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
