youre lurking in front of me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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