My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
