Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
