bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
