I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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