Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
