So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I understand Curling. That high.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize