rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
