yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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