Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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