My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
