She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
