this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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