K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Where is the hickey?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
PANTIES FOUND
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
