Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
