this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How external is "for external use only"?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Shame - the story of my life.
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