I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
