Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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