how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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