thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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