i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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