get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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