I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
