She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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