my mouth tastes like poor choices
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
