Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
