addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
