This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize