is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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