how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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