she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
