nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
