The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
