You're my little dorito
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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