Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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