All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
