So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
