What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize