My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
