If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
