I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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