so that wasnt chicken after all
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize