It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Fuck appropriateness.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
