it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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