I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
