I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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