omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
