If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
