CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize