im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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