That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
