after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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