i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
