Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i need some magic done to my vagina
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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