i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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