I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
